To those that know what this is about, I make no apologies as this is how I feel and will always feel. To the ones that do not have a clue, let me explain what I am talking about.

When I was 15, I was raped by my mother’s brother (a Vietnam Veteran) and got pregnant as a result. Long story short, I was court ordered to abort the child and charges were filed and off to prison he went. My world changed. I lost not only my family but my church and church family as well and several people I called friends. Those people that I didn’t lose, I chased away because I didn’t know how to adequately deal with everything I was going through. I was harassed in school, tormented by people who I once thought cared about me. It was a very rough time and due to circumstances, I moved out of my mother’s home at 17 and disappeared for 2 years, not telling anyone where I was or how I was.

When George (the rapist) was paroled after serving only 2 years, he was welcomed back into the family with open arms like he did nothing wrong. I was forbidden to see my family for fear that our paths may perhaps cross. In all ways, it was like I was continuing to be punished for what he did to me and put me through. He wasn’t out very long before he was killed in an horrific car accident, he drove (speeding at a high rate) into an RV and was decapitated in this accident. My family blamed me. I was no where around and I wasn’t in the RV nor did I know the people in the RV but yet, it was still my fault, of course it was.

Now, here is the part that brings the most pain of all. After his death, he was buried in a military cemetery with full honors. I was horrified! How could he have done all he did to do me and still get to be placed in a place of honor and valor and receive benefits of the same sort? I was so dumbfounded! I still reel with the injustice of it all. Every year on this day, he gets a flag placed on his grave ‘due to the service he gave’  but what of the life he lived outside of that service? He was a horrible man. I have forgiven him, he was mentally unstable when he did what he did to me and I now am confident enough to know it was not my fault in any way however, I cannot forget what he did and do not wish to see him get the honors reserved for those who truly deserve them.

rant over.

<(“) ❤

Ms. Pengelf